[opens pizza box] *snoop dogg voice* greetings loved ones
Never steal anyone else’s career, want your own. everything’s for a reason.
Why are boobs so soft. What are they made of. Is it the dreams of a thousand small rabbits
Real homies don’t snitch on eachother
Vine by nick mastodon
can we please destroy this idea that a person has to talk to you every minute of every day to like you
texting all day is not natural
force communication all hours of the day is not natural
amen to this
*stands behind a cute girl while pretending to talk loudly on the phone*
"yeah too bad it’s valentine’s day and i’m single. such a shame given my huge dick and expert lovemaking skills. i guess i’ll just have an expensive dinner all by myself"